The List

I bought some notecards yesterday with the intention of doing some story-boarding but today all I ended up doing was writing a list of all the things I’m doing in my life outside of work. All of my projects that I’ve either started or intend to start this year. It’s a little disheartening. Some of these things I’ve been working on for years. A book I’m trying to write has been percolating in my mind for nearly seven years.

Seven years.

What the hell am I waiting for? For someone who has never read my work to plop a contract on my desk and say “Write, and I shall pay you!” Well, yes. But the thing is, rationally, I know that this is not how the world works. I know I have to actually write something to put up and publish and send out and do the leg-work of getting it published. I know this, but I am stuck in the mentality of ‘it will just happen’.

So, In December,  I said that I wanted to do things ten days at a time. That was to be my New Year’s resolution. That didn’t really come to fruition. Mostly because I forgot about it. Also, because I didn’t find anything compelling about it. Okay, sure, the prospect of having something actually done is amazing, but, then again, I’m a lazy bastard.

Sigh.

There are so many things that I want to do and I find myself lost in the details and work of it all. At this point I’m suspending the ten day goal until I can fully understand what it is that goes through my mind.

Mood: Frustrated.

–

PS – I think I just lost all of my posts from my old blog.

Mood: Extremely Frustrated.